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Archive for October, 2006

This week is marred by multiple exams, excruciating homeworks, and two projects that will require my intense attention. So basically, if you don’t see me around that’s because I’m not. I’m working on some project somewhere.

This might be the only thing I see for the next 4 days…

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Preacher Gary is the good old guy that comes around to UNC Charlotte’s campus every so often and shares all the different ways in which homosexuals will be smitten by the lord. On this particular day, Preacher Gary talks about how Chapel Hill hates christians probably more than he hates gays… or something like that,

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Just yesterday I realized my new black pants were lint inclined as I removed them from the dryer and they were covered in lint. Having to meet president of the UNC school system, Erskine Bowles in less than an hour and without a lint roller, I had to act fast. Immediately my eyes set on my Duct Tape roll. I took the top layer of the tape and rolled it back around the duct tape roll to form a sticky roller which made lint pick up quick and easy. Here are the quick and easy steps:

Step 1: Get some duct tape

Step 2: Pull some tape loose and stick the loose tape on your thumb

Step 3: Pull out some tape, the goal is to get enough tape to wrap around the entire roll

Step 4: Put the tape long enough to wrap around the entire roll and feel good about yourself

Step 5: Attach the tape to itself creating an entire roll of stickiness which can be rolled on the lint filled garment

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After my inital reactions to Quixtar’s inevitable grasp on my life, I’ve been doing some research on the topic and I’ve run into a great information resource on the topic, The Quixtar Business Analysis is an elaborate site which explains in great detail how Quixtar is bad and good. Most notably the site proclaims,

Quixtar releases very few income statistics about the business.  
Rightly so, since it would be embarrassing for Quixtar to publish the facts that
contradict the popular income myths and exaggerations
circulating in the various lines of sponsorship.  What little Quixtar does publish is
that the average distributor earning a bonus made $78/month, before
expenses
.  Even if the typical active Quixtar distributor spent just 10
hours per week working his business,  he would earn just $1.90/hour for his effort
before expenses are included, or $0,95/hour for couples.   The typical system
related expenses can range from $175 – $250/month and this does not include product
purchases.  More over, most distributors will not even earn enough from Quixtarlosing money in the
business.

Because the Quixtar prices are so high, it is difficult to get retail
customers, so distributors end up buying most of the products.  It is their duty as a
Quixtar business owner.  Quixtar’s 66% first year drop out rate and IBOs low average
personal consumption only proves that the typical family cannot find much value shopping
at Quixtar even with the “wholesale” prices. 

I like to call the Amway / Quixtar business “Americas most
respected fraudulent marketing scheme”
.  This is because the vast majority
of people see Amway as an American free enterprise success story, but few people know
about the scheme’s dark secrets.  The vast majority of the public, politicians,
Amway/Quixtar’s suppliers and Partner Stores, have no idea of the  20 year systematic
fraud and collusion between the Amway Corporation and the king pin distributors of the
IBOA.  This has resulted in hundreds of millions, if not billions, of dollars in
losses from innocent, hardworking people from their “free enterprise” business
opportunity based upon false information, exaggerations, lies and popular myths.

“Recruits are brainwashed into spending a
fortune on peripherals while consuming Amway products. They either lose their shirts or
begin making money by getting enough people underneath to do the same.”

Don Gregory speechwriter for Co-founder Jay Van Andel Forbes
March 25, 1985

to
pay their mileage deductions for their cars.  No doubt the vast majority of
distributors are

These are very intense claims and the site is full of well reasearched information. As well as some funny videos,

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Civil Engineering has girls, Mechanical Engineering has even more girls… why is it that Electrical Engineering still has almost no girls? This idea was expressed most eloquently by a few classmates as I was working on my project in the design lab today, I will reproduce their verbal exchange for you:

[begin conversation]

Farting Person: (loud noise echoing across the lab from expelled flatulence)

Farting Person: “I had to get that one out before I headed to class, there are girls in there”

Other Person: “There are two girls in a class of 40, I don’t think it matters”

Farting Person: “Oh… yeah”

[end conversation]

At that point my lab partner and I laughed hysterically until we realized that we’d better continue working on our project.

It is important to note that females frown on audible flatulence in general

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College life. Many people attribute the entirety of college life to beer fueled parties and references to gentials. In reality, all the gential references exist because of massive inflatible male anatomies conveiently placed on college campuses.

Imagine my suprise when I got a call from Jane today saying, “There really is a massive inflatible penis out at the tower today.” I was still in disbelief, and I decided that as soon as my meetings were over I’d go and take a look at it. Jordan and Matt Lawing came with me to look at the massive man parts. As we arrived we were greeted by someone from XXXchurch.com, a church that helps to rehabilitate people from porn and the group responsible for the display. Their catch line was “Do you have the balls to stop looking @ porn.” and were offering a free viewing of a documentary, “Missionary Positions”. Clearly they were targeting college students by the shock value of their highly visible big boner.

The funniest part was that is was also Greek Carnival Day, and all the fraternities and sororities were out having events and games and such. What great publicity for them that anyone who walked by would be drawn in by the giant johnson. I first visited the Delta Zeta group where I was greeted by Meg Sturgeon, the la presidenta of the on-campus accapella group (she really is awesome by the way). I then moved on to see how someone could sit in a dunking booth when it was a little below 50 degrees and breezy. If anyone out there had balls it was that guy.

Yeah, I’m not gonna compete with Wally

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As it currently seems, I’m already getting prepared for having a real job someday.

I decided to clear out my sent items a few days ago, and between my two email accounts I’m averaging 15.64444 emails per day over the last 90 days! Wow… that’s insane. Do other people send out this many emails? I’d be willing to bet that most people acutally send out more emails than this in any given day. Actually, I’m sure that most people would average much higher numbers putting my measly 15.64444 to shame… although over 90 days that does include weekends. Weekends where I usually don’t send out as many emails. If I don’t include weekends, it comes out to  21.897 emails per day!

 Maybe we’d all be a lot happier if we talked face to face instead of through email. However, most of my emails seem to be about setting up face to face meetings anyways. It appears my idealism about personal interaction is faulty at best. I clearly have a lot to look forward to as I grow older, eventually entering the real world of organizational structures and such.

I’m already preparing to become a parent…

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